Misty’s Mistaken Identity

It’s hard to imagine a more heart-wrenching scenario than this case of mistaken identity. The families of two girls involved in a horrible rollover wreck had an added burden to their grief. I will never forget how strong and loving the families were in the face of something so tragic.

Extra time a blessing for grieving mom: ‘This is not my daughter’ 
Sunday, August 7, 2005
Sherri Zickefoose
Calgary Herald©

 

It just didn’t add up. The jewelry was wrong. The shoes were too small. The long, manicured fingernails weren’t chewed.

“That is not my daughter,” Judy Medicine Crane insisted to the Fort Macleod funeral director, who was urging a closed casket service because her 17-year-old daughter Misty’s face had been crushed in a car rollover in Stand Off last Sunday.

No mother wants to believe her daughter is dead. Judy is no different. But the 35-year-old’s reluctance to accept the news of her daughter’s death was different because she was right. If not for her nagging mother’s intuition and constant questioning, she would have buried the wrong child.

And she never would have learned her daughter was still alive. The small car Misty was riding in on the Blood reserve July 31 was meant for four people. Six teens were crammed inside when the 17-year-old driver lost control and the car rolled. One girl was killed instantly.

The other teen was flown by STARS air ambulance to Calgary with life-threatening injuries.

The Blood Tribe Police broke the bad news to Judy: Misty was dead, her friend Chantal Many Greyhorses was clinging to life in the Alberta Children’s Hospital.

Judy drove to Fort Macleod and started making funeral plans Wednesday. She asked several times to see her daughter’s body but was cautioned by the funeral director not to because the disfiguring injuries would be too much for a mother to bear.

“He said, ‘Think about a closed casket.’ We were this close,” she said, pinching the air with her thumb and index finger.

When the funeral director handed over her daughter’s jewelry in a blue satin bag, Judy asked for her daughter’s missing pink tongue ring. She was given a silver tongue ring and a nose ring.

“My daughter doesn’t even have her nose pierced,” Judy said. “Nothing reminded me of her.”

Sitting in a restaurant with her sister shortly afterward, Judy cupped the jewelry in her hand and poured it onto the table.

“I know girlfriends swap jewelry, but I thought it was strange.”

Then Judy remembered the tattoo. Misty was fiercely proud of the tattoo on her back left shoulder that spells Life. Upside down, it reads Death.

They phoned the funeral home and asked staff to check for the tattoo. A worker came back on the line and said he’d call right back.

“We knew something was wrong so we rushed back to the funeral home.”

The Blood Tribe Police were there as Judy pulled up. They had taken the word of witnesses at the crash scene that Misty had been killed.

Judy walked inside to look at the dead girl for the first time. One look at the long ponytail and polished fingernails was all it took.

“Where’s Misty?” she asked. The family set out for the car crash scene in Stand Off immediately, wondering if Misty had been overlooked and was left hurt and crawling around. Before they arrived, a relative stopped them with news that the young woman hooked up to life support in Calgary had a tattoo.

It was Misty.

“As soon as I walked in and saw her lying on that bed I recognized her. I checked her fingers, I checked her toes. We always teased her that she had round toes.”

Misty’s face was intact. She had a deep bruise on her cheek, but her face was otherwise untouched.

The brain damage from the car crash was massive. On Friday, her family agreed to remove the tubes and machines.

The mistaken identity of the two girls was a mixed blessing, Judy says. The fatal crash has devastated both families, but Judy says the extra time with her comatose daughter has been a comfort.

“I feel good I was able to spend these last few days with her. I held her hand and told her I loved her,” said Judy.

“It was all too fast at first and I wasn’t able to see her. I’m glad for the extra time,” she said.

Now for the second time, Judy is preparing to bury her daughter. The casket with a pinkish amethyst sheen and rose-print linen liner will still be smothered in pink roses.

“We decided we’re keeping everything the same. But it’s an open casket.”